Dysfunctional family  ROLES

‘THE MORE YOU SUFFER, THE MORE IT SHOWS YOU REALLY CARE, RIGHT? YEAH’ — THE OFFSPRING

    • Typically, the oldest child 

    • Responsible, Organized, Trustworthy,  “Perfect Child”

    • Achievements and Successes serve as distraction from underlying family issues providing a sense of validation and accomplishment

    • Drawn to achievement and perfectionism  

    • Overworked, feeling pressure to get things “right’ without mistakes or the freedom to mess up

    • Caught in the middle of conflicts within family

    • Mediate between opposing parent and/or sibling as an attempt to maintain peace and harmony

    • Suppression of own needs; becomes adept at reading and responding to others’ emotions

    • Very adaptable

    • May ignore their own needs while often avoiding conflict 

    • Uses humor and comedy to lighten tense situations, and distract from underlying problems 

    • Source of entertainment and relief in family, deflecting from seriousness of issues 

    • Ability to read the room and gauge tension levels, to avoid conflict and negative emotions

  • Difficulty connecting to their true feelings and often distracting with humor

Dysfunctional family  ROLES

‘WE NEVER ASK OURSELVES THE QUESTIONS TO THE ANSWERS THAT NOBODY EVEN WANTS TO KNOW’ — EVERCLEAR

    • Takes charge and gets sh*t done

    • Responsible for coordinating schedules, managing household chores and ensuring smooth functioning of the family

    • Struggles to rest and relax or stay in the present moment 

    • May feel resentful because it is difficult to say no

‘SO JUST CHILL TO THE NEXT EPISODE’ — DR. DRE

JOIN LFE’S A WILD ODYSSEY, FROM BARELY SURVIVING THE TIDAL WAVES OF LIFE TO RIDING, FLOWING AND HEALING

WHY GO PROJECT POD

    • Coincides with Hero or Troublemaker roles

    • Less attention within family and feels overlooked and/or left behind

    • Child who has a sibling and/or parent struggling with physical and/or mental illness or part of a large family

    • Quiet, passive and struggles with feelings of loneliness and the need for love and attention

  • Learns to take care of themselves and struggles with asking for help or receiving support

    • Blamed for all of family’s problems 

    • Defiant and disobedient or simply perceived as different from rest of family 

    • Allows family to deny and ignore more significant issues in the family

    • Truth-Teller which can be difficult in the system

  • Often blame themselves for difficulties while feeling worthless and guilty

Dysfunctional family  ROLES

‘SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY IN ANOTHER LIFE’ — EVERCLEAR

    • Assumes responsibility of caring for others in family, at the expensive of their own well-being 

    • Enable problematic behaviors — making excuses or denying the  consequences of those behaviors 

    • Prevents the individual from facing the full consequences of their actions

    • Often over-function for others

    • Doing and taking care of things that are outside of their scope of responsibility 

    • Sacrifices their own needs

    • Often seeks acknowledgment and validation within the family 

    • Guilt-trip others or use sarcasm to make others feel indebted or obligated 

    • Creates a sense of guilt in others an perpetuates unhealthy dynamics within family 

  • Overextend themselves and often battle feelings of being angry